“I think these preliminaries will satisfy me, and I feel prepared to take my text: it is the words of Jesus Christ, but where they are in the Bible I cannot tell you now, for I have not taken pains to look at them. I have had so much to do, that I have not read the Bible for many years… I tell you my text is in the Bible, and reads as follows: “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent…” I feel inclined here to make a little scripture. (Were I under the necessity of making scripture extensively I should get Brother Heber C. Kimball to make it, and then I would quote it. I have seen him do this when any of the Elders have been pressed by their opponents and were a little at a loss. He would make a scripture for them to suit the case that never was in the Bible, though none the less true, and make their opponents swallow it as the words of an apostle or one of the prophets. The Elder would then say, “Please turn to that scripture gentlemen, and read it for yourselves.” No, they could not turn to it, but they recollected it like the devil for fear of being caught.)”
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This is truly bizarre, yo.